Hello, my darlings! Today I want to share with you my story of how I came to be a modern housewife. I didn’t always aspire to be a housewife. It’s something that sort of happened. It’s kind of like when you finish high school and go to college not knowing exactly what you want to do with your life, and you end up figuring out your dream career through your own experiences in college. This is pretty much how it all happened for me as well!
How I became a modern housewife
As a woman of color being a housewife is not something common and even frowned upon in the black and brown community. Women that want to stay home with their children are often labeled as “gold diggers” and “lazy”. Young black women are taught to be strong, hard, and bear the whole world on their shoulders. We are taught to be independent and not depend on our men. Usually, both parents are working, and we grow up going to daycare or being watched by our grandmother until we’re old enough to fend for ourselves at home (At least this was the case for me). I know many of us may also be from a one-parent household and the end result is the same. Our mothers rarely exhibit the feminine, soft, and vulnerable side of themselves, nor do we ever see our mothers holding the role of a housewife/homemaker.
When I tell others that I’m a stay-at-home mom, housewife/homemaker, etc. they often come up with all sorts of ideas and judgment. Either they think that I’m too old fashioned, assume that I’m just lazy and don’t want to work, or they think my hubby is controlling. I can happily say none of those are true. Housewives/homemakers often do not get the credit they deserve. Running a household is a lot of work but is also very rewarding.
The story of how I became a modern housewife is a long one, to say the least. I actually had a very lengthy blog post written up with all my experiences that lead up to my decision, but I didn’t want to bore you with all the details that weren’t directly related so I will try to sum it up as much as possible.
Major Life Changes
When I started having children this is when things began to change. My thought process changed. I didn’t only have myself to worry about, but also this little person that was dependent on me for everything. How could I trust a complete stranger to show my child the same love, care, and devotion that I give them? This leads me to my next reason…
I do not trust childcare
When I had my firstborn and just discovered the whole realm of childcare it triggered me to rethink a lot of things. I’ve had some decent childcare experiences and I’ve also had really awful ones. Once a daycare worker actually did something inappropriate and forgot I was in the room. At the time I didn’t really have the opportunity to be with my son 24/7, but if only you knew how many childcare facilities, he’s been in. All it took was one thing for me to dislike and I removed him immediately. My husband also does not trust childcare centers, so we are both in agreement on this.
If you have ever lived in Cleveland, Ohio you know first-hand how awful the economy is. It is a city where it’s even hard to acquire a job in fast food. I often found myself at home more due to job scarcity. The more I stayed home with my children the more I began to prefer playing the role of housewife and stay-and-home mom rather than an employee at a job I didn’t like anyway.
It just works for our situation
My family structure does not work well when both my husband and myself are working outside of the home. Trying to balance a part-time job and my household while my husband was on the road 3 weeks out of the month was a nightmare. Being at home is what works for our family so this is the lifestyle I’ve chosen. Although it can be very demanding I love every bit of it.
As a housewife, I am happy & fulfilled
When I decided to stay at home and be a full-time mom and housewife/homemaker it just felt right and natural. It brings me joy to take care of my children, husband, and home. I can bask in my feminine and put all that energy and love into everything I do whether it’s decorating our home, gardening, preparing meals, or just providing loving support to my children and husband.
Well, that sums up why I choose to become a modern housewife. To have the option to always be available whenever my children need me is a major benefit of this lifestyle. I’m allowed to express my softness and femininity and I can also be vulnerable with my husband. Being a housewife is what I feel I was meant to do. I hope this post answers all your questions on what led me to this type of lifestyle.
Until next time my darlings…